4th January..

So I have made an appointment with my local GP(Doctor), to start the ball slowly rolling. I'll be speaking about if there is a way to become poly-gendered, and level of sensation.. It does have me in a slight panic. Am I doing the right thing, will I be laughed out of the surgery, what will I do when I'm told the options, am I doing it just to be different to the "norm", am I trying to fit in with a close-friend??

All I know is that I have been happier since working this out and coming to terms with whats inside, and feel a lot better about my body with smooth legs. Even if I have a problem with razor-burn >.< I even spent some time over the holidays looking at shoes and thinking "I could get those, I'd look great in those" However it was all heeled shoes, and no flats, maybe over compensating for the 30 years of flat "boring" shoes. Of which I need to get a new pair, for work. However that will be the usage of a christas present. Will have to check the expiry date on a voucher from a shoe shop to see if it can wait until I find out for certain and whether I will have any foot shrinkage. Some people have said it might happen, others that it wont. It will just be waiting to see what happens to my body.

Gah!

Just to say that my Dad has been admitted to hospital with pnuemonia. He was admitted an hour and half ago. He's been ill for the past 2 weeks, with what we thought was just a simple cold or flu. However today he was dragged by my mum into the walk-in clinic at the hospital and diagnosed with pneumonia. There nearly admitted him there and then but decided against it, that was about 9am. At about 1pm, my mum and I took him back up and he has now been admitted in.

To make matters worse he has been put on a ward with a cantankerous individual who was taking all the nurses attention when I left to turn the stove off so we may save the soup. Which I doubt. Someone else was been prepared to be taken to the Cancer ward, so that was another drain on their resources.

This is the worst I have ever seen my Dad. He has never been good with a simple cold and looks very bad at the moment, he has aged atleast 10 years. My mum has been crying and is very worried, I am very worried and wondering if he will ever be out of hospital again.

Understanding

So we went to see one of the ex-housemates, the Polish one, today and got talking about a friend of mine. How she has now found love and that I find it beautiful. However, the housemate was putting all the negative spin on the relationship. Saying how any amount of BS could be said online, after about 20 minutes of talk like that, I got quite angry and mentioned that of all people she should know that she doesnt need to tell me that.

Along with other parts of the conversation, regarding Transgendered people and it was revealed exactly how narrow minded she is. So it looks like I have lost a friendship there, well not exactly lost.. more given up on a friendship.